Spicy Tales of My Life: 2009

Well, the answer that I might give to this question actually depends on my mood. Sometimes it seems to me like a wonderful journey and quite often it does not. Right now it feels like a stinking pile of shit which is getting slinkier by every passing moment. Just felt like unloading this pile of filthy slime of my life somewhere. Then I remembered about this blog I created. Sorry readers (if there are anybody still left), kindly bear with me and this stinking article. This is the reason why I am back to blogosphere, to let my frustrations out.

Since my last article I took a very long break. Where I was gone, somebody might ask

No where!! Absolutely nowhere….

Intellectually, professionally, personally I am just at the same position that I used to be a year back. I actually thought I would take a break from everything else, and will give a plenty of time to myself to rejuvenate my body and mind. But the thing that I realized is I am not a goddamn Buddha to get some sort of enlightenment through the abstention of worldly activities. That is why I am back.

A truth I learned through my behavior for past few months,

Result of doing nothing is simply nothing….

Well it is that a simple truth of life. Some people take their plain commonsense to understand it, some take a life time. For me it took a part of my life time to understand it. I hope with this unforeseen enlightenment of mine I hope to flush all the stink that has accumulated in my life for my inactivity and to revert back on this wonderful journey called life.

Legend of a Loser

10

Posted by Zabi | Posted on 01:00

I am writing this article on the auspicious occasion marking the loss of my 4th mobile phone. It should not come to you as a surprise since this is not the 1st, 2nd or not even the 3rd but 4th Mobile Phone that I lost. I don’t suspect that there can be a loser more pathetic than me. If you find one please let me know. I will at least feel a bit better for not being the biggest loser I have ever come across.

God gives people a variety of problems to deal with for the rest of their lives; for it was amnesia. All my life, I have been losing all kinds of things from pens to cricket bats, rings to watches, match boxes to suitcases and the list goes on to become pretty big. I have lost a considerable part of my family fortune for the amnesic traits of my dysfunctional brain. My poor mom tried a variety of treatments from feeding me all kinds of nutritious nuts to psychological medication to cure my amnesia but instead they acted on my intestines causing me constant constipation throughout my child hood.

Name any kind of thing that a guy should have with him, the chances are ripe that I might have lost it at some or other point of my life. Size doesn’t matter nor does its importance; I have lost them all with out any prejudice towards a particular item. I also lost all the gals that I ever loved in my life so far, although it has nothing to do with my amnesia. All this makes me feel I am the Biggest Loser that life can make of someone.

I don’t exactly know how it all started but many rumors are in circulation through out my neighborhood. Of all theories, the one proposed by my mother comes close to being accurate. According to her, once when we were traveling to delhi by train, during one of the amavasya nights which is considered as the darkest of all nights , when there was a thunderous storm which was trembling all the surroundings with lightening for which our train compartment started shaking mysteriously and that too exactly in the middle of the night, everybody heared some loud voice which was caused when I, a boy of 3 yrs old, popped out of the upper berth of the compartment and fell down on the floor, head first, with a loud thud. Every one feared I am dead but luckily I escaped with a mystical memory loss problem that effects both my long term and short term memory alike in uncanny ways. This is far more worse a problem than aamir khan had in Ghazini. After that, my mom says that my amnesia actually started.

According to her, the very first thing that I started losing, way before I started losing my mobile phones, were my under wears. Every day she used to dress me up in a nice under wear and a pair of knickers on it and leave me in the neighbor hood. I used to come back in the evening with my knickers on but the under wear missing inside, mysteriously. Don’t dare wondering if same is the case now since thankfully I don’t lose them anymore; its mobile phones now.

After that it was the turn of my pens. If all the pens I ever lost during my school days are recovered and arranged in a straight line they’ll circle this planet at least twice. Since I was putting a big hole in my family earnings for buying pens my dad made a deal with the a local pen manufacturing company and brought home a big carton of cheap pens each worth 50 paisa each. Even if I lost 2 pens a day, monthly bill wouldn’t reach Rs. 30 per month. Fortunately that carton lasted almost all my school life. Once they were over I started stealing a pens from my class mates when ever I lost one. Interestingly I observed that stolen items stayed longer with me than the items I brought with my own money. I don’t know the reason but if I find it out someday, you’ll surely read Zabi’s ‘Eternal Law for the Eternity of Items’ gets published somewhere.

In my school life, along with pens I lost lunch boxes, cricket bats, My school bag one time, A titan watch gifted my father( after which he passed an ultimatum that Never shall a watch be placed on my wrist again), innumerable notebooks(including notebooks of other pupils ), Just one shoe when I went swimming in a pond and god knows what. The legend still continues with mobile phones getting sacrificed to my losing appetite.

Following is my mobile bill so far,

1st Mobile: 14,000 INR

2nd Mobile: 14,000 INR (this is the stupidest decision of my life)

3rd Mobile: 7,000 INR

4th Mobile: 1,500 INR

5th Mobile: (yet to come, but I am sure it will go too)

You must be wondering why I am telling you this. I feel incredibly bad when I lose an item and feel like the biggestloser. I have realized that there is no use whatsoever in worrying about the things that got lost. The better thing to do is to have a sense of humor and make others laugh about it. Hope you enjoyed. You’ll hear from me again, when I am to lose one more mobile phone which I am sure will happen soon if you all keep faith in me. Till the bye bye. Take care, shabbkhair.

P.S: By the way, If any one wants to sell me a 2nd,3rd,4th........e.t.c hand mobile phone below 100 bucks, please leave your contact details in the comment box in this blog..(No warranty is required)

My Best Freind: Chapter 5

14

Posted by Zabi | Posted on 11:45

Click below for the previous chapters..

Intro & Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

(contd..)

Chapter 5

As vibrations were getting louder, my heartbeat was getting faster. The only person who got happy listening to those vibrations was my mother.

She said cheerfully, “Your daddy is coming early today. Not much work at bank, I suppose.”

About my dad, He is not only a bank manager but also the de-facto head master of our school. He used to take a few classes early in the morning and would generally preside over assembly session before leaving for the bank. It was he who actually used to beat students for unifrom in the assembly. Entire school use to dread him. All teachers used to hate him because he had rules as stringent for teachers as he had for students. He was an efficient manager. Teachers still hated him because employees always hate proficient bosses. That’s management funda. Just as I hate my boss in the office.

About those vibrations that caused dread were coming from his Honda, a 2-wheeler. They kind of acted as the bell in the cat’s neck and used to warn us in advance. However, Honda is a smooth bike but those brassy vibrations, were a result of my monkey business. It is a funny story. I was taught in a science class a year before, that the smoke coming form automobiles is bad and causes pollution. I brainstormed over the issue and came up with a brilliant idea of preventing pollution. I felt the immediate urge to test my intellect and then saw my dad’s parked bike. I wanted to stop the pollution by acting right on the source of it, and in that bike as I figured out, it was the exhaust pipe. I immediately filled it completely with all the sand and stones I could find and felt immense pride of being a genius who has devised a panacea for the global problem of air pollution.

My dad went mad when he got to know about my endeavor. Severely reprimanding me, He arduously cleaned up all the muck out of that pipe. He later calmed down after the bike got started without a glitch and started emanating rather cool noises which were quite rhythmic as if they were made by a Bullet or Harley. He always had this dream of driving a bullet like the moviestars of his time did, which unfortunately cannot be fulfilled owing to his low height. However, thanks to me, he can now at least ride something that sounds like a bullet. He never got the silencer replaced and took as much pleasure emanating those vibrations from the bike as we dreaded listening to them.

He was a stern disciplinarian at home too. He had devised a set of strict rules for us to follow in the house. After school, 2 hours of play, 2½ hours of study, ½ hour of English news and finally 1 hour of our favorite T.V Programs. That was the time table which is to be followed strictly on all days with out exception and any disregard of it could attract severe punishments. My mother was a bit lenient on the time table and used to let us enjoy when my father was not around. Mothers, they are all like that, so nice.

On that day my father came home a bit early and at that too on time when we’re supposed to do study according to his timetable. I was doing anything but study since I am anything but adherent of rules.

Finally, the vibrations stopped, so did my heart. I jumped off the sofa to shut the T.V. off. My sister opened her bag and spread a layer of books on the floor just to compose the ambiance of room so as to look like we’re studying. A devious little mind I should say. I looked around for my school bag. It was nowhere to be found. I scratched my head for a while trying to remember where I had hurled the poor thing last time. I recalled that it was still in the school in my class room. I some times left it in school because it didn’t matter as my house was inside the school and my class was just about 20 steps away from the hall. Anyhow, I didn’t have enough time to get the bag without being caught by my father. Then came a feeling that some thing dreadful was about to happen.

My sister already started mugging something loudly. In spite of her noise all my concentration was on those foot steps which came closer and closer. That door would open any time and a slap could land on my face. At the nick of time I had a brilliant idea. Just as the door was about to open, I took one of my sister’s book lying on the floor and started mugging it as if it were mine. My sister gave that threatening look that she usually gives me, when she is about to blow me up. Ignoring her I started reading louder and louder without even understanding a bit of what I was reading.

The door opened and my dad came in. He gave us a smile displaying his satisfaction at our parody. I got over enthusiastic at his smile and started mugging even louder. Every thing was in order except that a 6th class student was reading a 3rd class science book. I was reading something like this,

“Animals have four legs, we have only two legs.

Animals don’t cook their food we do.

Animals got no brains, we do…….bla bla”

It was a comparison between humans and other mammals which is too primitive for a 6th class student to read. My sister and my mother started gaping in disbelief.

My father shouted, “What the hell are you reading?”

Until my father shouted, I did not realize that some thing was wrong in what I was reading. I wish I knew what I was mugging but I had no idea. I took a look at the front page to find any label my sis has attached but there was none. I remained silent.

Now it was my sister’s chance to shine before my dad and she rarely misses an opportunity especially if it were over me. I knew she would definitely love cracking me up. No prizes for guessing that she is my dad’s favorite.

My sister said, “That is my book daddy. Bhaiyya didn’t even get his bag from the school.”

My mother was watching all this from behind. She started laughing listening to my sister. Not that the situation was funny but I knew she laughed to simulate my dad’s sense of humor so that he gets cozy enough to spare me off the punishment he might be thinking of giving, as indicated by his anger at that moment. Thankfully, a smile came on his face, as I was praying for, which lightened my heart and created a ray of hope. For a second, I felt like it was the sweetest smile that I have ever seen on my dad’s face. Before I could show my 32, oops!! Sorry.. 24 teeth expressing my delight, I got a warm, tight and strong..

PHAT!!!

My Best Friend: Chapter 4

7

Posted by Zabi | Posted on 03:19

My Best Friend:

Click below for the previous chapters..

Intro
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Chapter 4

“That gal, she is panni aka pranitha. She is……”

I took a moment’s pause. I just wanted to say, she was stupid too, but that didn’t come out of my mouth. Reason? There is this thing called conscience which acted on me, She was the most talented gal and was the actual topper of the class and was supposed to be the leader of the class but I got the job only because she gave it up. I don’t know the reason for her renunciation, but she must have regretted her renouncement after tasting my impulsive leadership skills.

I told raghav, “She is my biggest enemy in the class. She acts as if she is a leader to all gals, and always incites them to do only one thing, hating me. So I hate her back and so should you if you want to be my friend."

Well, well. There wouldn’t have been a person wilier than me in the class at that moment. I don’t know if panni ever incited other gals against me but I surely did incite other guys against her many a time and was doing exactly that, right at that moment.

Raghav asked me skeptically, “but Why? She looks O.K to me?”

Oh boy. She didn’t just look OK, She was awesome. She was so beautiful that whenever I think of her now that K.G rhyme plays in my head,

“Chubby cheeks, dimpled chin

Rosy lips, teeth within

Curly hair, very fair

Eyes are blue. lovely too.”

She had all those things except for the blue eyes which are of course no match for her beautiful, round & dark eyes, which havenin them, so deep a meaning that you’d like to get lost searching for it. She was one of those beautiful gals who came inches close to me only in terms of physical distance. but stayed miles away my heart. all because of my stupidity that I showed in various forms. Here it was pre-pubertal stupidity and lack of essential hormones that might have incited better feelings for her other than hatred. At that moment all i did was to hate her like most young guys do until they become a little mature to understand the worth of a beautiful gal.

I hollered at raghav, “What do you mean why ? Did I not make it clear to you? Do you want to be my friend or not?”

“Ohhh ..K. got it, my dear friend.”

“That’s what. So we are friends huh?”

“Sure.”

Well, that was my way of making friends. Any class mate can either be my friend or be tortured till he becomes my friend. Since raghav was smart he chose the first option.
I showed him a sign of my thumbs up which was customary in our school to show it to a person whom you want to be friends with. It seems he did not quite understand what it was about as he was new to the place. He just stared at it dumbly. I signaled him with my eyes towards my thumb.

Not quite understanding what I meant, he asked, “What?”

I asked, “Friends?”

He held my thumb tightly and said, “Yes, friends.”

Looking at this seenu, the dumb fella, started laughing with weird hissing noises and said, “The new guy doesn’t know how to make friends.”

Listening to this I replied to Raghav, “See, if u wanna be friends with me, you too have to show your thumb. In case if you don’t wanna be friends then you can show your little finger. But we become enemies then,which obviously is not good for you.”

(Don’t laugh. I know every one out there must have followed such stupid customs)

He showed his thumb and I showed mine and then we both shouted together,

“Friends.”

That’s how our friendship started.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

I was siting in home watching some stupid agriculural program on doordarshan that evening showing how to raise pigs. We did not have the cable connection as my parents thought T.V would spoil me as I watched all senseless programs on doordorshan and they were sure that I'd loose my sense If I had better programs to watch.

“What the hell was it that you did in school today? Without a tie, with out manners and all reckless while talking to me, your school principal, especially in front of those parents? How can I punish other students for school uniform and discipline when my own son doesn’t care about having them?

“Maaaa, did you forgot telling me that I am your student only in school, not here?. Please don’t talk about things that happened in school. Now get me that pudding you are desperately trying to cook from last ½ hr”

“OK. Fine then. Get yourself some nice bamboo canes tomorrow. I shall come to your class and will treat you exactly like one of my undisciplined students.”

To this I replied meekly and sweetly, “Sorry mamma, please don’t do that. I’ll be careful next time.”

“Careful? About what? Wearing a uniform or not getting caught?”

“Wearing a uniform, of course.”

(Big lie again)

My mom asked me, “How was that new kid in school?”

“He is good ma. We became friends already. I think he’ll do great.”

“I saw his old school report. He did very well there and he is an intelligent student. It seems there will be some tough competition among you, panni and that new boy for quarterly exams next month.”

I got a little disappointed fearing that there can be a trouble to my leadership from Raghav. But I solaced my self, bearing in mind the fact that he has to catch up at least 2 months of syllabus,he has missed. I can respite my foxy skills confidently and can be nice to him for a while, until he was actually proven a threat.

I heard some vibrations coming very far away from down the street. I looked at the watch. It was not the time yet. I felt, may be it’s not exactly what I m thinking. My sister, who was cheerfully playing outside till then, came rushing in with a terror stricken face. She tried to speak something but she was running short of breath. She mumbled something.

I shouted loudly, “What?”

She was breathing heavily and couldn’t answer.

“Is he coming?”

She started moving her head up and down, unable to speak.

The instant I understood her,

“My Heart came out of my mouth.”

(to be continued..)

My Best Friend: Chapter 3

2

Posted by Zabi | Posted on 05:05

Note: Read the chapter's below, to get a lead of the story.

Intro
Chapter 2

Chapter 3

I was skeptical if this was the guy aaya was talking about since he was quite older than me; at least by 2 years. I went towards the office room. I heard a shout from the office room, “Where the hell is your school tie? And why is the top button of your shirt open?”

“Sorry Mom, errr.. I mean Madam.”

Yeah yeah. My mom is our school principal and obviously I am the son of the school principal. Being her son I did not gain any favoritism from her. Instead, I got all the unnecessary attention. Smallest of My mistakes were actively noticed and littlest of my actions were thoroughly evaluated. But I had my ways of taking advantage of being her son without her knowing. My mischievous deeds will follow through the rest of the chapters.

“How many times I have to remind you that I am your mom only in the house not in school. Address me only as madam here. O.K”

I replied, “Yes Mom, I mean madam.”

“Where the hell is your tie?”

Actually I and my friends used to wear the tie only during school assembly when the inspection for the school uniform is done. we used to take off our school ties and put them back in our pockets after school assembly. We wanted to look different from other kids and wanted to be considered as rebels in the school. We considered it cool. A rebel in my own school, how stupid was I. As if that were not enough, I always kept one of the shirt buttons open to look different from my friends just to look like their leader.

I replied, “I removed it during intermission and forgot to wear it back Madam”

“Why do you have to remove it in the first place while you are still in school?”

“We had to play the game of kabaddi Madam.”

“In a 15 minutes break? How the hell can you play even one full game of kabaddi?”

“We’ll play only a part of the game in interval madam. We’ll continue the rest of the game in lunch break.”

lies, lies and more lies, I never gave up telling them until others gave up asking questions.

My mom aka principal shouted back,” Intermission is only for going to “pass” not to play. “

“What can we do madam. We don’t have a period for games like other schools do.”

“I think I have to cut short your intermission break to 5 minutes. It’s long enough to serve the purpose it is intended for and no more. And also, I never want to see you without a tie again. This is my last warning to you. No excuses will be tolerated again.”

I took the tie out of pocket. I actually never opened the knot so that I can wear it back as soon as any strict teacher demands it. So it was easy wearing the tie back.

“Meet Raghav. He’ll be your new class mate. He shall sit with you today. Introduce him to the class. Give him the list of text books and note books he has to buy for all subjects. Make sure teacher enters his name in the attendance roll. Also give all the information he needs to know about the rules of the school. And Raghav. This is Zabi, Leader of the 6th class. As a leader of the class it is his duty to accompany you for the first day of any new student in the school. Ask him for any help you want”

The Man, standing besides raghav, who I figured out was his father, interrupted my mother, “Madam, every thing seems fine but we really can’t pay the admission fees by next month. We came to this village very recently, and I got a job in the local factory only yesterday. There will be a lot of bills by next month to pay. We’ll be really grateful if you can postpone the payment of admission fees by 2 months.”

This happens a lot in my school. Most of the students in our school are the children of migrant workers working in the local industries with very low wages. Rarely do they pay fees on time but we live with it. Added to that, they also negotiate the school fees and most of the students never pay Admission fees. I really wonder sometimes how my mother is able to run the school without a incurring a loss. I guess it is just her urge to be independent and interest to impart some education to those children. Our school fees are also very low starting from 40 rs for L.K.G to 80 rs for 7th class. Nowadays, I spend more than that to eat one biriyani in a weekend or spend four times that amount for a movie in multiplex. Anyways I knew that time that my mom won’t refuse that offer since they are just offering for a postponement and not the cancellation of admission fees which if the would have demanded, she would have accepted readily.“

My mom replied to hi father,” it is O.K. But make sure you buy all the text books and note books as soon as possible along with the school uniform. Now Raghav, go to your class with zabi and don’t hesitate to ask me for any help you might need. Welcome to Sun Shine School.”

We started walking towards our class. He asked me in an excited manner, “What is a class leader?”

I took the tie out of my neck and put it back where it is supposed to go, Right back into my pocket. I seriously stared at him and replied, “I am the leader of the class and the rest are followers. So from today you’ll listen to what I say and do exactly as I say. Understand?”

Listening to my answer, all his excitement changed into horror, which made his face look little all of a sudden. With a tamed tone he asked me, “Are you serious?”

I did not want to spoil his first day at school so I thought I’d ease him down a bit so I replied, “Of course not; I am kidding. In our school, every class has its own class leader. It is usually the topper of the class unless he or she doesn’t want be. In such case the next topper will be given priority.”

“What does a leader do?”

“Lot of things like accompanying new kids on their first day, collecting home works for correction, monitoring the class when the teacher is absent, getting canes for caning up students etc. etc.”

“Students are beaten?”

“You’ll see, but not if you read well and complete you home works. So don’t worry. I’ll save your ass if you don’t do it since I am the one, who looks over the home work correction. But you have to become my friend”

We reached the class by the time I finished explaining. Every one started looking at the new kid and they will soon start befriending him but I already made him an offer he can’t refuse. I stood in the middle of the class and shouted loudly as our social teacher shouts when she starts a History lesson, “Hey children…”

A gal shouted back at me, “Hey, we are not your children. A teacher can call us children, not you. We are your classmates.”

I hated the bloody gals in my class for reasons innumerable. They never used to listen to me and always fight with me. The truth is never used listen to them and I usually started the fights.

I replied, “Oh yeah we’ll see. Next time I monitor the class I’ll show you how you’re my children, Anyways, This is Raghav our new class mate.”

Every one in the class shouted together loudly and slowly as if singing, “HAI,,,,,,,,,, RAGHAV.”

He smiled and replied, “Hi”.

I shouted back, “That’s enough for now. Come raghav, I’ll show you, your place.”

I took him to the last bench where I comfortably sit with all the front benches camouflaging all the prankish things I do. There I saw shyam waving his head, half asleep, with saliva dripping out from his mouth.

I looked at raghav and said, “Meet sleeping shyam. Always sleeps in class and sometimes wakes up in the middle of the class screaming, like this.”

I gave him a hard kick . He woke up screaming just as I said. Then I screamed back at him,

“Get aside you moron. I have to go inside to sit at my place.”

I introduced him to the rest of the guys in my bench one by one. There was a “Mota seth” aka Mohanlal chand, a marvadi guy who’s father owns the biggest sweet shop in our village and is the richest man in our village. Next to him was Joseph aka “Jozip” as he calls himself, a keralite or mallu as most of the people like to call, whose father is an electrician in a local factory. Once, Instead of his son’s fees for two months, his father offered us to fix all the electrical problems we had in our house. Next to me was dumbo aka seenu, a real dumb fella, whose father is a local villager who constantly whines about delayed monsoons and increasing power shortages when he comes to pay the fees. When he is not paying the fees he sends us nice packet of fruits and vegetables from his farm so that we don’t complain.

He smiled at all of them warmly and followed me inside to the corner of the bench and the corner of the class. Actually there are 6 of us sitting in the same bench as there is a shortage of benches in our school. I asked sleeping shyam to move onto another bench so as to accommodate raghav in this bench today.

I kept telling him about all the other kids in the class as we sat down,

“’Yuckie’ aka Yuck-kil aka akhil, the most disgusting guy in our class. He farts in the middle of the class, he scratches his head and smells his fingers, he always fingers his nose, and he does things that make you puke on him. That’s why he’s nicknamed him yuckie.

“That is “Bang head” aka Rudra. He always sits in that corner. If he feels any emotion other than happiness he starts banging his head. He is sad- u’l see Bang Bang. He is angry, more Bang Bang. If is angry at some body he bangs their head with his own. So don’t mess with him.”

“And who else you want to know about? “

He asked, “what about the gals?”

“Gals are stupid, all of them with out exception. If you want to be my friend, you don’t talk to them. No guy in the class is friends with them. “

“Can I at least know about them?”

“Yes, of course. Whom do you want to know about? “

“That gal.”

“That dark gal?”

“No. The fair one.”

“The fair who?”

“That fair girl with curly hair.”

(to be continued..)

P.S : Read the chapter below for continuation.

Chapter 4

My Best Friend: Chapter 2

4

Posted by Zabi | Posted on 05:02

Note: Read the chapter 1 below, to get a lead of the story.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2

I asked my sister,” What the hell has happened to him? The last time I saw him, he used to be an urbane young guy.”

“Don’t you know what has happened? And when exactly did he was an urbane young guy to you?”

“I ran into him once not very long ago.”

“And when exactly is that?”

I tried to recall when exactly did that happened. I remembered that it was almost a decade ago. I felt really awful at this realization that I never met him even once all this while and completely snubbed him.

I answered,” Guess, a decade back.”

“What? Did you not used to boast him around as your best friend in the school? And this is how you treat your best friend? How lucky he is, to be your “best” friend.”

“Stop pulling my leg. Tell me if you know anything about him or else I’ll gather the information myself.”

“Yeah yeah. Leg pulling, seems like I got no better work to do. Anyways about your friend, he is in a mess now. Recently got released from police station I guess. He was jailed for a month.”

“What? He went to jail? What the hell did he do?”

“I heard a lot of rumors, but according to a local news paper report, that got published recently, he is the kingpin of the piracy racket that is spread across all the neighboring villages.”

“Oh My God. He has gotten into illegal stuff now.”

our car started shaking abruptly.

“WATCH THE ROAD YOU MORON!! That is a tree and this is the road. watch where you are going.”

“Oops. Sorry...”

“I think, I said I wanted to go to my friend’s house not a hospital and get me there safely alright...”

“Oh sure; your safety is my priority dear. Btw what kind of a piracy racket was he involved into? “

“Shut up and drive. I know you are bad at multitasking. Try to socialize a bit with your old friends that you have forgotten and gather all that information. All that you do when you come home is eat, sleep and stick to that idiot box. Now don’t talk until we reach the town”

“I just wanted to,,,,”

“Shut up.”

“But..”

Umm..

I finally shut my mouth up and drove her to her friend’s house. I dropped her there.

She said,” I’ll take an hour. I’ll call you once I am done. Don’t go too far a place where no mobile network can track you. Also you know how much of petrol our car guzzles. Dontcha? So stay close.”

“Yes Madam. Anything else?”

“Nope. Bye now.”

After dropping her I waited there for a few minutes mulling over where I should go. There are a few friends of mine in that town whom I can meet, but it seemed like a bad idea since there are those who will either be too interested to spend more than an hour or too uninterested to tolerate me for an hour. I thought of going to a place in the outskirts of the town which has a pond with a beautiful lake shore. Hoping it would still be beautiful, I drove my car past the town.

Luckily the place has kept its beauty somehow. I gathered a few stones and sat on a rock, and started throwing those stones, one by one, in to the pond. The solitude and serene atmosphere provided impetus to my nostalgic thoughts that were waiting for this solemn moment. It was perfect time for some retrospection.

.................................................................

“Zabi!!” Aya shouted in the middle of the school.

One of the teachers responded, “Don’t thunder the entire school. He is in 6th class”

She came to my class room, “Zabi, Principal is calling you. Come to the office with me.”

“What for?”

“A new kid has joined your class. You should accompany him today.”

I went towards the office room. I saw a kid and his parents standing outside the office room. I looked particularly at him. One feature of his I couldn’t miss noticing..

His remarkable brown eyes….

(to be continued..)

P.S : Read the chapter 3 below for continuation.

Chapter 3

My Best Friend: Chapter 1

4

Posted by Zabi | Posted on 03:45

Note: Reader's discretion is required since an element of fiction is included.

Prologue

We all have friends, different types of friends; In fact, so many that we cannot recall them all in an instant. If you still give it a shot, you can recall all your close friends, whom you would rather call best friends ignoring the superlative. But there is always one buddy who is the best of the best, who is as close to you as you are to him, whose name comes to your mind as soon as listen to the word “Best friend”. There is no body else who can replace that one person in your life. I am lucky to have one such friend and the memoir that follows is his story.

Chapter 1

I am finally home in my village after a long time. My wicked boss won’t grant me leave until I finish the project which took 8 long months. I am sitting on the sleeping chair which I love the most. It is the iron chair with a stretch of cloth hanging between its ends. Sitting on it feels like hanging in some garden of the heaven; watching T.V, eating pakodas home cooked by my mother, while sitting on that chair, feels better than heaven.

But Alas! God it seems had the room for only one heaven, for which he created the devil called little sister and left her into mine.

While I was about to get into a state of utopia, a screeching sound made from my behind brought be back to reality,

“ABBEY OOh Bhai!!”

I sank deep into my chair and pretending as if I weren’t listening, imagining the devil would settle down. But she wouldn’t since she is no ordinary demon.

“Bhaiyya. . Would you look at me?? Please.”

Her voice was little sweet this time. I got scared. Generally, if she sounds angry then it’s a sign of danger, but if she sounds sweet for no particular reason, then it’s surely a sign of a catastrophic disaster to come.

I got no better response than being silent to her devious sweetness.

“Oh bhaiya. Won’t you like to talk to me? You have come home after such a long time. about your days in Bangalore? You have been away from home for such a long time. You must have been missing me all the time. This is your chance bhaiya. Talk to me; tell me about your gal friends and stuff.“

Sweetness coupled with persuasion. Deadly combo. She is definitely onto something devious. I showed no signs to placate. I replied her with the only weapon I had, “Silence.”

“I am really giving you a last chance bhaiyya. Turn around…or else..”

I held my breath this time so that she can find no sign of a life that she can suck out of that chair.

She shouted with all her sweetness gone this time, “You moron!!! Get yerr lazy ass out of that chair so that I can put it to some better use.

I still pretended as if I am a statue of some kind.

Vroom..

A shoe went on the top of my head, just touching my hair.

I finally gave up my silence and shouted back at her,“Hey Satan, Stop it. What the hell do you want? If it is the remote, forget it. You are not gonna get it.”

“Who wants remote dear. I want you.”

“No way. My favorite movie is coming. I can’t let you spoil the fun I am having.”

“What movie? Terminator? I bet this is the zillionth time you are watching that movie. Don’t forget that I have only thrown 1 shoe of yours. The other is still in my hand. This time I am not gonna miss.”

“Do whatever you like. You can’t move me out of this chair.”

“Hey, Don’t sit in that chair. It broke down recently when that fat cousin of ours sat on it. Dad somehow fixed it. Nuts and bolts are still loose.”

“Good story but only a fool will trust ya.”

“Don’t trust me? You will suffer. Get up you fool.”

“Nope I won’t. You are not gonna talk me out of this sweet chair and please shut-up; that’s not the way u talk to you big brother.”

“That’s it. I have no more patience left. Let me show you what kind of a fool you are.”

She came close to me, pulled some thing out from the side of the chair and put it in my hand. It felt heavy. It’s a nut. I moved a bit to look below where she took it from.

BAM!!!!...

I fell down. I felt excruciating pain in my back. I tried to move and tried to catch her leg but I couldn’t. I was struck like a chicken in that chair. A few moments ago it was the chair from heaven, and now it feels like shit hole from hell, thanks to the Satan in the house.

“O.K . Alright. I give up. Help me get out of this chair. I’ll do whatever you want me to..”

“That’s good Tommy. How about you start with a nice apology? You shall be forgiven as I am merciful.”

“Enough. Get me out.”

She came towards me and started pulling me out of the chair. Right then, I felt her hair at my finger tips. This is the chance. I pulled her hair with all my strength into the chair. Now, we both are awkwardly struck to the chair.

She made the loudest screeching howl that I ever heard. A chill went down through my spine. Listening to that, my mom came running from the kitchen.

“Oh there you go again. You are no kids now. Stop messing with your sister. You are 25 not 5.”

“Excuse me!! I am not the one who started it. You ask this devil not to mess with me instead.”

“Shut up and get up, and you gal; still not ready? We have a wedding to attend this evening. And you too must come to the wedding son. “

I replied with an anguish,“Wedding? Aah boring!!… Not me maa. You know I hate’em.”

“No excuses. I want to see both of you ready by evening. Those are the places where we can find the right matches for the both of you.”

“NO.”

This time I and my sister shouted together in unison forgetting all the differences between us.

“What No? Don’t argue.”

“Neways it’s a muslim wedding. Bride and groom are separated and so are the boys and gals. I can’t pick a hot chick for your bahu maa.”

“I m not taking you to catch some hot chick you fool and I don’t even try doing a stupid thing like that in a wedding. We’ll take care of it.”

“If you want to take care of it, why the hell am I needed there?

“I am taking you so that the parents of those hot chicks can catch you. Get dressed in some nice formals you have, and don’t dare wearing those crazy low pajamas of yours (thats what she calls my jeans)”

My sister shouted, “Mom.!! Stop being crazy. I will not come to the wedding if you say so.”

“I am just kidding. See, you both stopped fighting each other and are now united to fight against me. Its just to scare you both. Now get up and get ready.”

I know she is not kidding and there is no use arguing. She is the boss. With some struggle I was able to get out of the chair somehow. So was my sister.

I asked my sister,“So what is that you wanted from me dear?”

“Drive me to the town. I have to visit my friend.”

“I can’t. Bike isn’t in a good condition. I haven’t used it for a long time. I am not sure if I can trust it.”

“Bike? Are you kidding me? Take me in the car.”

“What? You need a drive in the car? You know how much of petrol our car guzzles? Forgot those days when you and I sat in the back of a truck with laborers to go to the town when buses were on strike?”

Listening to this my mom shouted,

“When and where on this planet, you did such a crazy thing?”

“Not now mom. We were too young to mind such a thing then. But now this princess wants a chauffeur for her ride. Hey!! I remember Mom telling me that you learned to drive last month. Drive yourself to town if you want to go. ”

“No bhiaya. I can’t now. I have to get some mehendi done. I can’t drive back home without spoiling it.”

“ Duh!! You are not the bride. Why do you need mehendi?”

“Numb skull. I can’t explain it to you. Just get ready and drive.”

Shue,……..

Finally, all of us stopped arguing. I felt good that I had this little funny fight after a long time. It just reminded me of how I and my sister used to fight all the time like this. I really missed it when I was staying away from home all these days.

I finally took the car out of the shed and started driving towards the town. I saw my village on the way which has changed a lot since I left it 10 years back for higher education. I used to visit my village only during holidays and rarely had the time to meet anyone.

I saw some body waving his hand trying to stop the car. It is a Man looking all wretched with unshaved hair all over his face.

My sister shouted ,”Bhaiyya.. Don’t dare stopping the car for him. Hit the floor and get outta here.“

He looked a little scary. I didn’t want any nonsense at this moment and did what my sister told me to. Just as we were driving past him I had the chance of looking into his eyes.

Those brown eyes!! The moment I looked at them, I knew whose eyes they were. The sharpest I have ever seen.

I asked my sister, “Is he?...”

Before I could complete the question, she answered back,

“Yes he is indeed your best friend.”

(to be continued..)

Continuation:

Chapter:2

Spicy Tales of My Life

Not just mere facts of my life... :P

Pages

A Truth of Life

2

Posted by Zabi | Posted on 05:55