Disclaimer: Purely a work of fiction. A figment of my imagination.
When I first saw her I noticed she was pretty but I felt,
“aaawh, I have seen pretty.”
But perceptions don’t possess the quality of perpetuity so can be easily changed when exposed to reality. I knew not then that mine was bound to change in due course of time. I didn’t notice her in detail except for her smile. The most radiant one I have seen lately. Her smile might have been the reason why my eyes took notice of her. I must confess my eyes have high regard for beauty even though my brain sometimes fails to realize it.
The next time I saw her, the radiance of her smile was even more striking. But it’s not just the smile this time. As she came closer I saw what a real beauty she was.
“aaawh. She is pretty.”
Innocence in her eyes, bounce of her hair, appearance of her figure, her majestic yet feminine walk, the smell of her perfume and the air with which carries herself around. Every feature of her caught my attention and she deserved it. She noticed me as I was looking at her agape, and put her smile off to give me a contemptuous look as if to imply that my eyes didn’t deserve her beauty. Uncertain of the implication of her stare I hesitantly turned my eyes off her.
The next time I got lucky in the sense that I not only got to see her but to meet her. It was through a common friend. She was still wearing the radiant smile from which I couldn’t keep my eyes off. The look of contempt in her eyes was now replaced by amiability which I think is for the sake of maintaining the decorum of out meet or for the sake of our friend. Whatever it may be, the radiance of her smile grew more elegant as the look in her eyes now complimented her smile.
She greeted us cordially and my friend returned her greetings with profuse amiability. I was mesmerized by the sweetness of her voice. It couldn’t have suited her better. She looked at me inquisitively as if something was expected out of me. My friend broke the awkward silence by restoring the conversation. It was too late by the time I realized I didn’t returned her greetings and kept mum like a dork.
She is one hell of a speaker, I realized, when my attention slowly diverted from the sweetness of her voice to the meaning of words that she was speaking. Though it was a small talk the eloquence of her dialogue, her quick-wit impressed me. I said to myself,
“Awwwh, She is pretty intelligent.”
Wait a second. I was enough impressed by her already, her impressing me more isn’t going to do any good. It is my turn now to impress her if anything has to happen between us. I decided to contribute to the conversation between her and my friend. I made up few lines in my head on the subject they were discussing. I repeated those in my head and they felt intelligent and witty enough to create an impression in her towards me. I seized the opportunity when they both took a pause and blurted out my rehearsed dialogues.
Intelligent and witty I thought but rather I sounded lame and stupid. The expression in her eyes instantly got converted to contempt. But this time it was like her look poked my heart through my eyes. I kept mum for the rest of conversation and flew-off at the first chance I got by giving a lame excuse.
The next time I met her she was walking all alone. The lack of her radiant smile created a gloomy air about her. I thought she would remember me from last conversation and a smile of my greeting, might light up her radiant smile. I tried to get hold of her attention. She looked in every directon but mine. May be she is not in a good mood today. I thought of using a good pickup line to grab her attention but before anything could occur to me she already walked past by leaving a trail of her florid perfume in the air.
The next time I saw her, it was not the radiant smile that caught my attention. It was the caress of her feminine back by a masculine hand. The sight of it added to her radiant smile which seemed fluctuating with the movement of the hand on her back, burned my heart. Anger, dismay and helplessness all stuck me at once. To avoid any further embarrassment of the situation I took my steps backward.
The next time I saw her, I still noticed the radiance of her smile. I was afraid to imagine the reason behind it but I realized a stark change in my perception. It’s her beauty, it seemed faded. I start noticing the features of her which were far from beautiful and which I haven’t noticed earlier. As she same close her radiant smile grew and our eyes met. She raised her eyebrows to greet me.
At that very instant, I turned my eyes off her, forever.
