Posted by
Zabi
| Posted on
01:00
I am writing this article on the auspicious occasion marking the loss of my 4th mobile phone. It should not come to you as a surprise since this is not the 1st, 2nd or not even the 3rd but 4th Mobile Phone that I lost. I don’t suspect that there can be a loser more pathetic than me. If you find one please let me know. I will at least feel a bit better for not being the biggest loser I have ever come across.
God gives people a variety of problems to deal with for the rest of their lives; for it was amnesia. All my life, I have been losing all kinds of things from pens to cricket bats, rings to watches, match boxes to suitcases and the list goes on to become pretty big. I have lost a considerable part of my family fortune for the amnesic traits of my dysfunctional brain. My poor mom tried a variety of treatments from feeding me all kinds of nutritious nuts to psychological medication to cure my amnesia but instead they acted on my intestines causing me constant constipation throughout my child hood.
Name any kind of thing that a guy should have with him, the chances are ripe that I might have lost it at some or other point of my life. Size doesn’t matter nor does its importance; I have lost them all with out any prejudice towards a particular item. I also lost all the gals that I ever loved in my life so far, although it has nothing to do with my amnesia. All this makes me feel I am the Biggest Loser that life can make of someone.
I don’t exactly know how it all started but many rumors are in circulation through out my neighborhood. Of all theories, the one proposed by my mother comes close to being accurate. According to her, once when we were traveling to delhi by train, during one of the amavasya nights which is considered as the darkest of all nights , when there was a thunderous storm which was trembling all the surroundings with lightening for which our train compartment started shaking mysteriously and that too exactly in the middle of the night, everybody heared some loud voice which was caused when I, a boy of 3 yrs old, popped out of the upper berth of the compartment and fell down on the floor, head first, with a loud thud. Every one feared I am dead but luckily I escaped with a mystical memory loss problem that effects both my long term and short term memory alike in uncanny ways. This is far more worse a problem than aamir khan had in Ghazini. After that, my mom says that my amnesia actually started.
According to her, the very first thing that I started losing, way before I started losing my mobile phones, were my under wears. Every day she used to dress me up in a nice under wear and a pair of knickers on it and leave me in the neighbor hood. I used to come back in the evening with my knickers on but the under wear missing inside, mysteriously. Don’t dare wondering if same is the case now since thankfully I don’t lose them anymore; its mobile phones now.
After that it was the turn of my pens. If all the pens I ever lost during my school days are recovered and arranged in a straight line they’ll circle this planet at least twice. Since I was putting a big hole in my family earnings for buying pens my dad made a deal with the a local pen manufacturing company and brought home a big carton of cheap pens each worth 50 paisa each. Even if I lost 2 pens a day, monthly bill wouldn’t reach Rs. 30 per month. Fortunately that carton lasted almost all my school life. Once they were over I started stealing a pens from my class mates when ever I lost one. Interestingly I observed that stolen items stayed longer with me than the items I brought with my own money. I don’t know the reason but if I find it out someday, you’ll surely read Zabi’s ‘Eternal Law for the Eternity of Items’ gets published somewhere.
In my school life, along with pens I lost lunch boxes, cricket bats, My school bag one time, A titan watch gifted my father( after which he passed an ultimatum that Never shall a watch be placed on my wrist again), innumerable notebooks(including notebooks of other pupils ), Just one shoe when I went swimming in a pond and god knows what. The legend still continues with mobile phones getting sacrificed to my losing appetite.
Following is my mobile bill so far,
1st Mobile: 14,000 INR
2nd Mobile: 14,000 INR (this is the stupidest decision of my life)
3rd Mobile: 7,000 INR
4th Mobile: 1,500 INR
5th Mobile: (yet to come, but I am sure it will go too)
You must be wondering why I am telling you this. I feel incredibly bad when I lose an item and feel like the biggestloser. I have realized that there is no use whatsoever in worrying about the things that got lost. The better thing to do is to have a sense of humor and make others laugh about it. Hope you enjoyed. You’ll hear from me again, when I am to lose one more mobile phone which I am sure will happen soon if you all keep faith in me. Till the bye bye. Take care, shabbkhair.
P.S: By the way, If any one wants to sell me a 2nd,3rd,4th........e.t.c hand mobile phone below 100 bucks, please leave your contact details in the comment box in this blog..(No warranty is required)
not being meen, but "I don’t suspect that there can be a loser more pathetic than me. "
i think i must agree with you on that :D
and the part where you mention u lost all the gals... is Shaheen banu Included?? lolll :D :P
Every time you say u aint being mean, you are at the culmination of being mean.. :(
Shaheen banu is not a gal FYKI.. :-X
juss kidding... thx for taking time and putting a comment for the stupidest article I have ever written..
mast blog tha yaar...mazaa aa gaya...(sorry i shd be in sad state for the sudden loss...hehehe)
hey, i agree that was a mistake when u bought ur 2nd mobile for 14k...n i still remember it was some sony cybershot....
anywayz don worry ..just remember...u r earning good to spend money but not on to the things u keep losing :D
Just think of it as shedding layers of skin (you know ... like a caterpillar, or whatever). You're exfoliating all the crass commercialistic tendencies to attain minimalistic bliss. That's pop nirvana for you! See how you pared down from a 14k mobile to a 1.5k one? Okay, the bliss part may take a bit longer to find but I'm sure its somewhere out there. Maybe you need to lose a couple more before it reveals itself?
oh.. that's bad.. when I bought my first phone..it was this really cheap one because my dad thought I was going to lose it in less than a month.. I didn't lose it.. EVER! and so got my second 'good' phone! Although.. I have left it in restaurants, coffee shops, in the car and everywhere and it surprisingly came back! :) It's not you, you are not a loser, its your bad luck!
PS: I just posted a blog post with a verry similar blog title about an hour ago!! lol.. I seem to finding similar titles a lot lately.. Like I found 'wake me up when september ends' in more than 5 blogs last month!!
this comment is too long isn't it? I should stop!
losing my mobile this time is not only less pain ful but joyful..Thx to all your comments
@rahul: THX bro. yes that was the biggest mistake..am a satyamite without onsite yaar :)..apne chennai ke din yaad kar..u know how much I am earning..
@Sunita:whoaa!!... gud english mate!! one only sheds the layers of skin when they becomes worthless. since my mobiles were brand new, losing them was as painful as getting da skin on my ass torn alive. (is it 2 crude? i just meant painful). but the last mobile was very cheap I waa able to bear the loss.. thx for your comment buddie.
Seems we are no short of losers!
The undie thing is little absurd.
We like you for character, good you never lost it ;), cheers !!
@vinay.. : ya its little exaggerated... will cut it off..thx for da comment..
So, not exactly lost, but I am on my seventh phone right now.
Spoilt first by dropping in water.
Second got spoilt on its own. Samsung. Lo.
Third dropped, display broken.
Fourth lost.
Fifth broken by brother. Read- thrown in an attempt to actually break.
Sixth now used by mom. Still in working condition. :)
Seventh - currently using dad's old phone. Needed quad-band.
THOUGH, none were as expensive as your phones! Lol.
@streak...7 phones!!...tas a record of its own kind dear... dont worry I am sure gonna brk tht record pretty soon.. learn to hold ur mobiles tightly... it seems u have a pretty loose grip .. :p