Spicy Tales of My Life

I am feeling totally miserable these days. Every aspect of my life has become a reason of my misery. For instance let’s focus on a few important reasons of my misery.


1) My Job sux!!

With my job life has become stagnant. My office is a boring place. I got no interesting work in office to do. I got no interesting company in office to spare my time for. All guys in my office floor suck. All gals in my office think I suck. There cannot be any growth in my career. Even If there is, I cannot grow along with it. I can’t do any thing about any thing. I feel totally helpless.



2) My Social life sux!!

What is social life? I have forgotten the answer to this question for a long time now. I work like 24*7 for 5 days and after that no energy is left to do anything on the weekend. A thing like gal friend could have given me some respite but that space in my life has been void for ages and I have become hopeless now. There is no color or vigor in my life.

3) My life is full of defects


I am full of Defects like,

I am not 6 feet tall.
I don’t have 6 pack abs.
I haven’t got Einstein’s brain.
I can’t talk as effectively as harsha bhogle.
I have earned a lot less than a million dollars.
I don’t have many good friends.

Everything about my present seems wrong. Even my past seems no better. When I close my eyes to think of things that influenced me in past, all I can recollect are the days that I have had failures, the days which could have been better, the chances I missed and the opportunities I lost. The extent of negativity in my life is astounding. For instance, when I think of the person who affected me the most during my teenage, it is not the gal I loved, not the guy with whom I was best friends with, but surprisingly, a guy who used to bully me in school.

To cut the long story short, I am an utter pessimist. If you show me a glass half full with water, I am bound to see that it’s not only half empty but also has a crack on its top and a dirt grain at its bottom. Finding imperfections all around and especially within me has become a well developed habit of mine. For so long, I have not only been finding void spaces within me and but also accruing them together to create a vast emptiness. So vast has this emptiness had grown into that I now feel absolutely hollow from within.
I held pessimism in every perspective of life till now.

Yes. I wrote it correctly and you read exactly what I wrote, ‘Till now’ is the last word of the above sentence. Some event happened that affected me greatly this morning. I saw a video on one of the social networking sites this morning. It is a about a physically challenged guy who has no limbs whatsoever. It was a story not about his disability but his regarding ability to do things in spite of his disability. I may fall short of words if I try to explain what exactly I saw in that video, so I am adding a link below so that you can see it for yourself.



Overwhelming isn’t it. Even after applying the most optimistic approach I was not able to give a single realistic reason as to why that kind of a disabled life is worth living. He has every reason to plunge into an abyss of depression and never to get up. After seeing this guy’s optimistic attitude I felt shameful of my own pessimistic approach towards life. He has every reason to be miserable but he is not. I have every reason to be happy but I am miserable. There may be many others like me.

I know I have to change. It sounds dramatic but I have to. And I also know it’s not easy. Situations like the above happen every now and then in our life which affect us but fail to produce any real effect out of our life. An event cannot change one’s life but can only give us the inspiration to change. This time I do not want this influence to be lost but a lasting one.

To begin with I have to change my perspective. Pessimism is something that comes naturally to me. I have adopted pessimism at a very early stage in my life when I was a child to make sense of failures that were happening in my life. Actually I have mistaken pessimism for realism. For every 100 times one tries, success can be achieved only once. To alleviate the disappointment of failure for the rest of 99 times, pessimists like me develop a natural mechanism to think that success cannot be achieved at all, and its not worth giving a try to taste failure every time. What pessimists fail to realize is that the happiness that success gives one time long lasts disappointment the failure gives hundreds of times. Everyone in this world who is successful has had his share of failures.

The first step I need to do is stop bickering at things I don’t have and look at things that I can be proud to have. I have never really looked at reasons that make my life worth living even when there are plenty. Let me see all the positive things of my life. Not that I don’t know them but I just fail to remember them at times when needed. Lets have a optimistic perspective and look back at things that I have discussed earlier.

1) My Job Rocks.

I am working in a technology that is highly paid and in most demand at the moment. Even though at rimes I don’t appreciate what I do, my boss is in complete love with my work and I am my boss’s favorite employee. On my job I am visiting new places and meeting new people and having plenty of occasions where I am having fun.

2) My social life rocks.

A few of the major problems that I face in my social life are,

It would be very unfair for me to bicker on this part. Actually I have never sincerely made an attempt to love anyone. Since the kind of utter pessimist I was, I always had tried to find some defect in every gal that came close to me and repelled her before she can lend her heart. It’s absolutely true that I haven’t loved any one till now but I have surely crushed a few hearts that wanted my love. I am not as innocent as I pretend to be on this blog in so many various posts.

Apart from this fact I do not think there is any other problem. I make friends very fast and get along with them very well in no time. Except my worry that I do not have a gal friend my social life absolutely rock with parties and hangouts. I have some problem keeping in touch with my old friends. I have so many old friends who valued my friend ship but I haven’t equally valued theirs for a long time. I hope they all forgive me for being such an ass. I haven’t realized their value until now as I have come on the verge of losing many of them. Still I have a chance as lot of my old friends can still take me back as not one of them is such a big ass as I am.

3) I have no defects but all virtues.

I am an inch taller than aamir khan.
I haven’t got Einstein’s brain, neither did Einstein had a brain like that of mine.
Harsha bhogle may not dance as well as I do
I feel I am worth earning a million dollars some day.
I have got a few best friends who can do anything for me.
Etc.

Now I will see how I can be miserable any longer. I am learning to look at the right reasons to rock my life and ignore those that make my life suck. I realized that not until I write things down somewhere, I do not actually do them. For example, I wanted to give-up smoking for a long time and not until I wrote that in this blog, I never seriously tried to give smoking up. Now I have almost lost the urge to smoke and have become a non smoker for life hope fully. Let’s also hope I will become the kind of optimist that I always wanted to become and start rocking